“How To Write a Book"
--"Here's All the Motivation You Need”
Permission and Approval? Here's All You Need to Know!
by Steve Manning
Never ask for permission, never look for approval.
The older I get, the more obvious the lessons become. And the more angst I feel at not having learned them earlier.
This one is a beaut. The basis for the lesson is largely irrelevant. It suffices to say I got burned because I thought I needed approval or permission from someone else. Both were withheld for unrealistic and capricious reasons, and so I didn’t get what I wanted.
That’s not going to happen again.
If I want to do it, I’m going to do it. And that’s especially true when you write your book.
Now, I’m not saying you do something regardless of the possible risks, or that you take the situation into your own hands when you shouldn’t. In every case you should let your own sense of right and wrong, ethical behaviour and moral integrity be your guide. I’m not going to take all the money out of the bank account and buy a sports car, and I’m not going to abandon my familial responsibilities because I want to trek across China.
But once I’ve decided what I want to do is ‘right,’ then I’m going to do it.
I’m not waiting for someone to say ‘go ahead.’ I’m not waiting for someone to anoint me as a worthy or skilled enough for the task. Asking permission or looking for approval is a mug’s game. It wastes time and resources. And in most cases you’ll never get the support you’re looking for.
There are two reasons for this.
First, if you’re looking for permission to write your book, the person granting that permission likely has nothing to gain by you getting that permission—and sometimes a lot to lose. Sometimes giving you permission diminishes their standing, potentially undermines their position, at the very least it usually means more competition for them. This is particularly true with committees, or groups of people willing to critique your work. If they give you permission to attempt something they’ve been unable to achieve, and you succeed, where does that leave them in the eyes of their peers?
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There’s a similar problem with approval. Stop looking for gold stars. You don’t need them, they’re not worth anything, they’re usually distributed by the unqualified and if you still value them at your age, you’ve got bigger problems than you think. Approval is often used as a motivating factor. Tell me I’m doing well and I’ll keep on doing well… because I thrive on that good feeling I get when people approve of what I’m doing. If you need gold stars or approval to do what you’re doing, then you really should stop and try something else.
Approval to write your book should come from within. That’s the most genuine form of approval. That’s what should mean the most. And, really, if you’re not getting approval from yourself for your acts, then, again, you’ve got some real problems.
When you give yourself your own permission, when you give yourself your own approval, then failure or success becomes irrelevant. You’re doing what you’re doing because it is right. Down to your very fibre you know it’s right and you’re going to carry out the task not because someone else says you can, or because someone else says you should. You do it because it is right, and to not do it would be wrong.
I keep remembering a historical scene in Notre Dame cathedral in Paris. A young Napoleon had invited the Pope to crown him emperor of France. But just as the Pope was about to place the crown on ruler’s head, Napoleon grabbed the crown in his own hands and crowned himself. He did not need permission or approval from anyone else.
Still need permission or approval to write your book? I didn’t think so.
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